Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
