your parents love me but you hate me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
