Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
