She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
