Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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