Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sex in a hospital.. check
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
