Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
