I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
