i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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