Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
