Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
