yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
