That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
