Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's blow job season.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
