I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
