She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
