Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize