he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
