it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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