He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
