Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
FUCK WHALES
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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