So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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