I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
