Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
