As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
