no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
