if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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