Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
