I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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