I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize