addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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