Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She told me I should be a condom model.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
