he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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