Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
