Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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