im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
