I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bring me that man meat
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
