I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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