I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
