but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
