i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
