I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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