Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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