areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
