There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
