I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
