I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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