I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
