He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
