If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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