smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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