No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
