and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
