you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
