I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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